a lost cause

The fool made me realize that a thousand heartaches cannot break you.  Only YOU can break you.  Just as you see the days pass the nights, you can be the only one who can decide when to GIVE IN and when to TURN BACK.


A lost cause will never survive. 
But you feel loneliness once you realize it.


There's an air of weight sitting on your shoulders. 
And how it makes you wonder
How long will I live like this?
Will I be like you too?
And I know I deserve better.
Much Better. Nonetheless.
And smiles. And wines. And lies.
The fill in the empty space that needs to be replaced since the first day of everything.
Endings are always difficult than beginnings.


And I can't understand you.
I can't understand your language.


And as much as i have hoped that we had the same world.  We don't.
We never will.
Never even started.


I feel you.
Do you comprehend what you're missing?


And intentions had been said as part of suggestive planning.
And everything else has been going on inside my head.
MY HEAD. CRAZY NONCHALANT BITCH.
TOO CREATIVE.
TOO SUSPICIOUS.
LESS WORK.
MORE NONSENSE.


And the winds carry me on.
The sky cries for me.
I will hunt you down with grace
When the pain of discomfort
Tames my insatiable thirst for quest.


A QUEST.
That's all there ever was.
A chase-chase-hunt-chase situation.
Who gets to be the hunter and the hunted?


A long gone question in my head
In my head? I hear you.
You mock me.
You don't deserve a walk in my world.
Never.
Never will be.
I will find another path that will lead me to you.
For you 
Disappoint me.
DISAPPOINT ME. You don't have to prove the world
you can charm them
You don't have to impress them
That you're better on your own.  And if he was the man 
She wanted
Him to be,
He would not be intimidated by her silence.




I'm getting creative now. You see
The beauty of it is that it needs to be 
Replaced constantly. An attempt for a conundrum.
Ah, the play of words. WORLDS.
Let me hope to dream.
Maybe I can still find the lust, the pure
Desire to want you back.
My arms that used to hold you
Feels neglected, and the Kisses
that used to burn me with such
Passion, disappeared when I 
Followed you in the dark.


I'm getting lonely. And I understand.
I see the dark where I'm heading.
Places like this used to comfort me.
Now, I'm not sure. Not
So Sure.
Anymore.


There's no time that will be spent.
No more
Waiting until something bends,
No more 
Holding on 
Anymore
I have lived by you and as far
as We KNOW
We had 
Made
Things Work.


We will still live
With each other.  I am still beside
You.
You are not mine,
I will never lose you.
I will still try to save you.
Embrace you from all the hurting.
Comfort you when you lack faith.
I am there for you as you have been there for me.
I will remember you. 
One happy day is almost considered a miracle.
I will remember you.
But I will never again come looking for you.